Things Claire Wore in ‘A Kid Like Jake,’ part II

Ok, y’all. The world’s on fire and June has been basically a straight dumpster heap of a 30 days, so I thought I’d make myself feel better (and maybe some of you?) by continuing on the “Things Claire Wore In Her New Indie Movie” journey. Check out the first post in the series here.  

Last time I promised a jumpsuit and before I convince you this is a jumpsuit let’s just look at how smiley Claire is here with her little “A” necklace and quinoa bowl. Side note: does anyone actually like quinoa? I feel like we were tricked into thinking it tastes good. It’s like tiny sand pebbles. Hard pass. 

So, here’s the view from the back. It’s hard to tell in this tiny ass photo but it definitely looks like there are PANT LEGS gathering at her feet. This jumpsuit is like if overalls and a romper had a baby. Which I realize is basically the definition of a jumpsuit but look at those GIANT pockets on the butt? That is not really a ~generic~ jumpsuit feature, right? Right?? (I’ve never worn a jumpsuit in my damn life.) 

Here’s Claire reading a bedtime story wearing ONE T-SHIRT. This is not that important (the outfit) but will be in a sec. 

Here is Claire in the very next scene, now back in the jumpsuit. Am I to believe that she gpt into her pajamas to read her kid a bedtime story, then got back into the world silliest jumpsuit? Real talk when I first watched the movie I thought “oh yes, I am to believe that.” But after the recent snafu I discovered in editing from “Grace,” I am going with the Occam’s Razor answer which is that they filmed some pickup shots of Claire reading in bed and then inserted them here with little eye or care for clothing continuity. 

Anyway, here’s Claire doing the most adorable lived-in-human acting thing. She is feigning outrage of Jim Parsons bringing home some sort of candy from Gristedes, which I think we can all agree is a very Claire thing to do. 

This is Claire’s next outfit. It’s this oversized (linen?) yellow and grey striped shirt. I think it looks super weird and I don’t understand why her pants are so long and further don’t understand her shoes which are like mule clogs. Her bag is cute though.

But she is a lil’ corn muffin so I am ok, ultimately. 

I’M SORRY BUT I HAD TO TAKE A SCREENSHOT OF CLAIRE USING A SPONGE TO WIPE OFF HER COUNTERTOPS. CLAIRE, THAT IS NOT WHAT A SPONGE IS FOR!!! Sponges do not clean countertops. They just leave water streaks on the counter. Some all-purpose spray and a rag will do the trick. 

*This paragraph was brought to you by Sara’s mother.*

Also why are there leaves on your dishwasher? Is this what happens when they give you a dishwasher in NYC? Must it come with leaves on the outside? 

I’m sorry for scolding you, Claire. I am back to loving the way you very bizarrely convinced me you are in love with Jim Parsons in this movie. #acting

More pajama attire. Phew, this film has a ton of it. This is cute but way too color coordinated, right? Light blue shirt with matching plaid bottoms?? I don’t believe this. Where are my cinched at the bottom red sweatpants (don’t worry, they make more clutch appearances later in the film)??? 

At least she’s just wearing one t-shirt. Also, how do I get those giant stained glass windows in my bathroom? 

Sigh. Homie is looking so pensive. The “one partner has eyes wide open while other dozes off unknowingly” is a tried and true Homeland motif and this film deploys the mechanics and choreography of their bedtime routine/sleep positions in a really unique (and purposeful) way. 

IN CONCLUSION: PENSIVE CORN MUFFIN. JUMPSUIT. A SPONGE’S PURPOSE. 

NEXT TIME: THINGS GET TEST (literally!)